Hold Me Alone In The Dark When No One Will
by Edo-Ikari
Summary: Ritsuka is distressed when his mother beats him for no reason, and is put into a hospital. Can Soubi comfort him before Ritsuka does the unthinkable? rated M for violence


**heheh, people seem to like my work so much, i'm going to write another loveless fanfic for them all. XD i've only been on for a few weeks, and i'm already so loved! ahah, not really, but kinda. by the way, this story does NOT follow after the last story i wrote with ritsuka and soubi, each one is individual...(heh, my black lab likes to help me write stories XD he jumps up on the loveseat ((yes, that's what we have at our computer)) and he hangs there while i write) this one i think is going to be on the more emotinal side of things. i want to hit close to home on this one, we've had a couple of hanging moments in our family this last year, and a bunch of family deaths. (counts on fingers) but still, this is going to be a good one. i usually do a little better when i'm doing the emo sceine...♥**

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Ritsuka sat at his desk, tapping a pencil and staring at the flickering screen of his computer. Nothing interesting had happened in a while, and Soubi hadn't responded to his message from last week. Ritsuka was beginning to worry, he hadn't even heard from Natsuo or Yoji...He picked up his phone again, and dialed Soubi's number, it actually started ringing. He held his breath, and waited for his fighter to pick up. When it finally stopped ringing, and a voice came over the other line, he took in air.

"Soubi! Where in the have you been?!" Ritsuka burst.

"Who the hell is this? Ritsuka?" the other voice questioned, obviously holding in a laugh.

"...Kio...?" he gaped, unwilling to let himself beleive Kio, of all people picked up the phone. He loathed the bastard.

"Where the hell is Soubi?"

"He left his phone here on accident, he's at his house with the two kids, I think earlier he tried to get a hold of you, but for some reason your phone was off or somthing. Any way, he took the two brats shopping for new clothes, he's complaining about having to share clothes with them."

Ritsuka just stared at his phone, then hung it up before he had to hear that mans voice any longer. He opened his phone back up again, and dialed Soubi's memorized number with skilled fingers before he listened. It rang once, then alerted him the line was in use. Ritsuka got so angry, he threw the phone onto his bed, letting it bounce once, then settle on his blue sheets.

An angry pound came to the door, and he shuddered as it was flung open by his mother. She ran at him, violently hitting him in the head. He screamed out for her to stop, as she broke open the thin skin on his lower lip. Ritsuka layed there on the floor as his mother kicked him, before reaching for a pair of scissors he kept on the computer desk. She yelled something incoherent at him, and brought the scissors down onto his left hand, puncturing it on contact. Ritsuka screamed in pain as his hand was attatched to the floor boards by cold unforgiving steel. His mother cried and kicked him again, before Ritsuka heard his phone ringing.

- - - - -+- - - - -+- - - - -+

Soubi sat in his house, after just pulling the phone off of Yoji, staring at the reciever, confused why Ritsuka wouldn't pick up his cell. He felt bad he'd left his with Kio at the collage on accident, and wanted to appologize to his master. When no one picked up for a second time, he began to worry. Putting down his house phone, he sighed and took a sip of his latte.

Yoji looked over at him. "What's your problem Soubi?" he asked, picking up a pair of black shorts.

Soubi just took another light glup, and shook his head. Ritsuka usually would have chewed him out by now, what was wrong?

After pondering, and watching the Zero's fumble through clothing for about an hour, his phone rang, and he rushed to it. Before he could pick it up, Yoji was there with a smug little smirk answering the receiver.

"Yes, this is Soubi's house...oh...Soubi...yeah he's here. Who's calling?...Oh god...yeah...here..." Yoji's face changed as he handed the device to his house mate.

"Is this Soubi?" a kind voice stated from the other line.

"...Yes...this is him."

"Hi, this is the Yano Jonan Childrens Hospital, we have a patient here that requested we call you. Do you know Aoyagi Ritsuka-kun?"

Soubi's blood went cold. What had Ritsuka's mother done this time. "Yes, I know Aoyagi-kun."

"Um, well, hold on...let's see here...He's sustained an injury to his left palm, multipul cuts to the face, back, and torso, bruises on his face, back, and torso, and a minor concussion. He admited himself here about an hour ago."

"What do you...mean..." Soubi choked out, thinking about how his little Ritsuka must look.

"We don't have the entire story yet, but he's already a member of this hospital system, and one of our therapist's works with him, she's been trying to get the story out of him since he got bandaged up. All we can come up with, is that this accident happened at home."

_"Of course it happened at home," _Soubi thought, shutting his eyes. "Tell Ritsuka I'll be there soon,"

"Of course Sir, have a nice evening," the nurse said as she hung up the phone.

Soubi ran to get his coat, and was stopped by Yoji. "What happened to the kid?"

"I'll tell you later," Soubi panted, running out the front door, and down the stairs to the walking path.

- - - - -+- - - - -+- - - - -+

Ritsuka sat in his bed, cold, sweating, and crying. Katsuko-sensei had been called from home to talk to him. The two made small conversation for a while, about who he wanted to call, and what had happened to him. Ritsuka didn't want to make his mother seem insane, and get her sent off to an asylum. The real Ritsuka would be upset if he came back one day, and found out his mother wasn't there anymore.

Katsuko put down her plastic cup of ice chips that she had been giving Ritsuka, and walked over to the window. Ritsuka hadn't spoken for the last thirty minutes, and he didn't intend to either. She looked back over at his bed.

"Ritsuka, please, tell me the truth, did your mother do this to you?" Katsuko asked with pleading eyes.

Ritsuka didn't respond, he just turned his head back to the stand that had the ice chips on it, and reached for them with his right hand, the one that didn't have guaze and stiches. When he got them, he adjusted the bed so it was upright. He shook a few of the shards out of the cup, and looked at his hand. It was swollen and the guaze was leeking blood. He had to get six stitches, three in the palm of his hand, and three in the top. Ritsuka wiped away a tear that rolled down his cheek, as he heard a nurse at the door knock.

"Aoyagi-kun, you have a visitor,"

"Let them in," Ritsuka croaked, shutting his eyes.

Soubi opened the door, and walked in rather worried about what he would see. Ritsuka opened one eye, and then both widened as his heart leaped. Soubi had actually gotten his message.

"Ritsuka...what happened?" Soubi hushed getting on his knees next to Ritsuka's pillow.

Katsuko looked over shaking her head. "Good luck, we've been trying to talk to him for an hour, he hasn't told us anything,"

Ritsuka moaned from the bed in pain. "Sensei...could you leave for a little while,"

She smiled, and let herself out the door.

Soubi sat there for a moment, waiting for Ritsuka to either chew him out, or yell at him for not being there. But all he did, was cry. Tears rolled down his face in agony and pain, and Soubi had never seen this look before. It wasn't a physical pain, it was a mental pain, emotinally drained. Soubi leaned over him, and placed a gentle kiss on his bandaged cheek.

"What's the matter Ritsuka,"

"Why does she do this to me? She just snapped on me," he sobbed into Soubi's shoulder, wrapping his arms around Soubi's neck. "You'd probably be the only one that cared if I died!"

Soubi's eyes grew wide. Was Ritsuka really that scared today that he thought he was going to die?

"Soubi, please, just stay with me tonight,"

- - - - -+- - - - -+- - - - -+

It had been about a month since the accident with Ritsuka's mother, and Soubi thought things had been gettting back to normal. Ritsuka got his stiches out, and he started going back to school about a week ago.

Yuiko tried asking Ritsuka what had happened, but all Ritsuka would do was turn his back and walk away from her.

Ritsuka would stare into the mirror and cry to himself. Why was his life like this. If what everybody said was true, than he could just die and be with Seimi, and he'd never have to do this Sacrfice any more, or he'd never have to go out searching for the exact person that killed his brother. He already knew it was Septimal Moon, but he doubted he'd ever find the actual person that murdered him. And most of all, he'd never have to see his mothers face again, and hear her spiteful words that were spat out at him.

On his way home from school, Ritsuka stopped over at Soubi's house. He knocked on the door, and Yoji answered it. Calling for Soubi, Yoji walked away from the door and back to the PS2.

When Soubi came to the entry, Ritsuka's eyes wandered away from him. "Soubi, I just wanted to come and say I love you,"

Soubi's look changed. "This is a change. I've never actually heard you say you love me."

Ritsuka stood up on his tip toes and kissed Soubi as deeply as he could, slipping his tongue through his lovers lips.

Backing away, and wiping a tear away from his cheek, he ran back down the appartment building stairs.

When Ritsuka got home, he slammed the door and sobbed into his pillow. He heard his mother's foot steps on the hallway floor, and he ran to lock his room. Sitting up against the wood, he could hear her yelling as she pounded on the frame, demanding entry. Ritsuka broke down, listening to his mother call him hurtful obsenities, and slam against the treated wood. It pushed him over the edge. He stood up, sobbing so hard he could barely breath, as he reached for the phone Soubi had given him. He shakily dialed his number, and waited for him to pick it up. Soubi's voice came onto the other line.

"Soubi, I'm sorry," and all he heard was his lover yelling from the other line, before he dropped the phone, and raced for the box cutter he kept in his computer for little things. But he unsheathed the blade and put it to his skin, waiting for the sting of the rusty metal to rush into him. Slicing one thin line through his pasty complection, his hand began to shake as the vein was cut, spilling blood the color of a ripened apple. It dripped onto his hard wood floor, and Ritsuka moaned in pain. Taking the thin blade again, he slipped the weapon deeper into the same wound, relishing a cry of pain from his throat. His mother heard him and pounded on the door harder, as Soubi paniced on the other line. There was blood all over the floor, puddling around his knees. Ritsuka began to get anxious, what if he didn't want to die yet. It had been too late, a major artery had been torn, and he was loosing life all to quickly. Ritsuka dropped the box cutter, and fell to the floor, crawling over to the phone.

"S...So...Soub...Soubi...I...lo...lov..." Ritsuka coughed out a choking cry, "I...love you...Sou..Soubi..."

- - - - -+- - - - -+- - - - -+

At Ritsuka's funeral, everyone showed up. Old friends from his previous schools, family, even some other fighters and sacrafices had shown up. News of Loveless' death had spread quickly in that hidden world. Ritsuka's mother never showed up, she'd killed herself that night, the same night he did. They found an entire bottle of sleeping pills empty in her bathroom, and her laying on the kitchen floor, dead.

His body hadn't been found immidiatly, Soubi hadn't called the police, Ritsuka'd never want him to. His mother'd changed the lock on the door too, so Soubi couldn't get in, and the latch on Ritsuka's window had finally been put to use. The curtains had blocked out anything Soubi could see.

Upon the investigation of the house, they found a suicide note in his room.

_Soubi,_

_I just want to let you know, I didn't originally plan on suicide, I just wanted to go somewhere, a place that I could just escape to. But I guess, if you've found this, I'm dead already. I hope nothing bad happens to mother, she's going to be upset about this. You're the only one that I could think of to write to first. I must have already said I love you, so I don't think I have to say it agian. You can have your phone back too, and you'll have your freedom after this. Don't go looking for anyone else to take you as their fighter. You're not a fighter now Soubi, your just plain old you. I love you (again) Chu_

_Mother,_

_Somewhere, deep down inside of you, I know you loved me, and I know you'd never want to hurt me. But some evil thing inside of you forced you to do those things to me and Seimi. I'm sorry if I've killed myself, but please don't do anything harsh or drastic. I still loved you, and I wanted to help you, but I knew I couldn't. I hope things work out for you, and I hope you can find comfort in the fact that I'll always love you as my mother. I'm sure Ritsuka loves you very much, and I'm almost glad I took myself out of this misery. Ritsuka wouldn't like the way I treated his life, he'd have been confused and upset. I hope you can forgive me for taking away your son. I love you mother._

_Yuiko,_

_You were my best friend Yuiko, and I don't know if I can say that any clearer than what I just did. This is going to be hard for you to get over, I know, but when you finally accept the fact that I've died, I hope you can look at this, and find comfort. I'm sorry for the way I treated you at school sometimes, and I hope Soubi takes care of you. And I really liked that Strawberry jam you gave me a while back (even though those mean bitches ruined it) I hope you learn to stick up for yourself, and that you'll find someone to love you unconditinally and shower you with praise (god knows you need it JK) _

_To My Teachers, Doctors, Friends, and Loved Ones,_

_I hope you all forgive me for my sin, and allow my spirit to be unchained from this world, so Seimi and I can live together in the after life. I've done some bad things in my life, and the Ritsuka everyone grew to know and love, was destroyed when I came along. I hope you all grew to love both of us, and will forgive me for taking his life away as well as mine. _

_Aoyagi Ritsuka_

_15/12/05_

They read the portion to his mother only. Nothing more, but Soubi held those words close to his heart. He'd written the note five days before killing himself. His suicide was close to his birthday too. The buddist preist spoke kind words of Ritsuka and his mother, as Yuiko fell to her knees in the front. She sobbed and hiced strangling her cellphone, which Soubi guessed held a picture of Ritsuka on the screen. Her mother walked over to her, and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, but Yuiko just shoved it away and clutched his photo for dear life. She then choked out something Soubi never expected to hear.

"Ri..Ritsuka! I love you! Please don't leave me here alone!"

Soubi pushed up his glasses and wiped away a stray tear, as he felt Yoji tug on one of his shirt sleeves.

"Why Soubi, why do people do this to themselves," there were tears staining his cheeks. "Why do they do these things, if they know how many people will miss them,"

Kio stood next to Soubi, staring at the artificial face of his best friends boy. Sobs also wreched themselves out of Kio's throat. He barely knew the kid, but after seeing him one day, and then gone the next, it depressed him.

Soubi walked away from his stance next to Yoji, Natsuo, and Kio, and over to Yuiko, who's mother had a worried look on her face. He crouched down next to her, and she peeked up at him through her hair and tears.

"He's going to be fine where he is now Yuiko, don't worry about being alone, he's always with you," Soubi whispered out through a held breath. He knew if he let it out, he'd sob.

Yuiko pivoted on her knees, and held onto Soubi for dear life, crying into his shoulder.

They sat there together as the preist spoke, and the sky began to grow blackened with heavy clouds. And as the final words were spoken, the crowd began to part, and the sky cried silver tears onto the graveyard.

Kio walked over to Soubi, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be at your house when you get home," and with that, he left.

Only Yoji, Natsuo, Yuiko and Soubi were left when his coffin was shut. Soubi ran over to the preist, and asked if he could open the case again. The preist did so kindly, and Soubi walked over to his little Ritsuka.

Placing a gentle kiss on his pale lips, he rested a cellphone in his hands. Soubi backed up, and then the preist placed the lid of the coffin back down, having the other men lower it down, and cascade dirt upon the dead mans resting bed.

When the earth had been sealed, and the rest of the crowd cleared. Beyond the dirt and wooden coffin case, lay Ritsuka and the phone. On the open screen, read a message. "I love you Ritsuka..._Chu_..."

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**see, now that wasn't so bad wipes away tears i don't know why i'm crying. maybe it's cause i went out to my dogs grave a few days ago and sat there crying...(we had to put my dog flybye down on july seventeenth, and i couldn't be at home when we put him down, i was in another state. and we buried him in the back yard.) but we've had so many deaths in the family lately, and this is just something that is so utterly true, it's disturbing, the way things are described gives me goodbumps just reading over it now. my cousin died about a year ago (he was only 21) and that was hard cause i couldn't be there for that. and an old family friend commited suicide a few months ago (he shot himself in the chest with a shot gun) yeah, my life's pretty depressing isn't it? plus my friend ali lost her uncle. he had a heart attack about five hours after dropping us off at her house. i did a sermon at our church for him. uh...eli...josh...sunnies husband...dave...great great grandmother or something...flybye...it's a lot...(ahah...i feel like i whine a lot...XD)**

**somthing similar happened with the rain thing. we went to a funeral for a kid named eli that died at our school (we were on the news and stuff, me and my friends were on it too. we were like praying in a circle at the church) and at his burial, we were some of the last ones there. we watched as the lid to his resting bed was closed, and we held flowers that the man had let us have off of his coffin. and after we ran to comfort our friend nicole, (who was about to pass out) we ran back over to the grave, and i think it was then that it started to rain. they say that when someone dies, and it rains, their spirit is carried to heaven. and so far, at almost every funeral that i've been to, it's rained. creepy huh?**

**umm, let's see. i wanted to make things accurate, so i think after the suicide note, it says something like 15/12/05 (in other countries other than the US, they rearange the numbers, so it would be december 15th 2005), and yeah, i guess the book in japan was published on 2004, 2005, or something, so that's one. and then i was originally going to make it snow (cause it's december duh) but i think it's like not winter in december...(i think) so i don't think it like snows or something. who am i kidding...i confuse myself with grammar and spelling and weather errors...XX**

**but yeah...rated M for suicide and gore and stuff (violence you idiot! violence!)..basically for safety...**

**i know i think seimi didn't really die in the story (actually, while i was halfway through writing this a few days ago, i ran out the door to help my mom with the grocery bags, and i saw my new loveless manga sitting on the porch. i ordered them, 4, 5, and 6, but the sixth one is on pre order, so it's coming at the end of the month.) but this is before ritsuka had a chance to discover that i guess...**

**well, i'm gabbering on right now, so i should really stop writing...(good song that i listened to while writing this, i also made a loveless picture video with this song, blink182's adam's song, very good song.((if you want to see the video, i might update my profile with it's link, or you can find my youtube account under the name of edo1020)))**

**love edo **


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